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Yelich

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Everything posted by Yelich

  1. Yelich

    Russian Prison

    We are in an undisclosed Russian Prison, a horrid, dank building. A rat is seen scampering across the wooden floor. The cameraman walks up the wooden steps, creaking each time as he is escorted up by the prison guards. He is lead to a room with a wooden table where he is told to sit down, across from Yelich who's hands are cuffed together and legs are cuffed to a chair that is bolted onto the floor. Yelich was recently arrested by Russian Police after trying to steal what he believed was the Tsar Bomba (the largest and most powerful hydrogen bomb ever created), though was merely a to scale replica. Yelich has been in Russian Prison for three days now, and at this point we are unsure if anyone in BPZ knows which prison he's actually in. If he does not get out by this weekend, he can not partake in the Story of Temples match that as of right now he is still scheduled to be apart of in Egypt against Mikey, Gunner, Arius, and a mystery opponent despite, ya know, being jailed in a foreign nation. Yelich: Hey cameraman, don't speak to me, you're not allowed to talk, only my voice matters... It's day three of being in prison in Moscow. It's not been fun, but I have been praying to Xenu and L. Ron Hubbard every night and morning, I'm sure Marc or Nardie or Bart or Brenden or SOMEONE is going to get me out of here.... they've got to right? They haven't forgot about me right? Right? Yelich buried his head in his hands, mentally breaking down currently at the thought that everyone has forgotten about him already, and has left him to rot for the rest of his life in this cold prison. Yelich: Do you have a phone cameraman? The camera is set onto the table as the cameraman seems to do something, as we then see an Android phone get slid across the table to Yelich. Yelich then attempts to grab it, but his handcuffs and fact that his legs are cuffed to his chair are stopping him from grabbing the phone. He struggles to grab the phone for a bit before stopping defeatedly and simply banging his head on the table because of the situation he's in. Yelich: Okay, new plan, you grab the phone and call someone, surely you have some good contacts in that phone of yours. Cameraman: Well I ha- Yelich: DON'T-DO NOT SPEAK!... Your voice gives me hives, and I can not have it in this or any moment. Just... call Aaron or something and put it on speaker. The cameraman hits call on the contact labelled "Marc Aaron Newton" the phone then does not ring but a computerized voice begins to say something. The person you are trying to call has blocked you on this number. Do not call again. The phone call then ends on its own as Yelich looks annoyed. Yelich: Ya know what... I would block you on my phone too if I wasn't the one who had to have you to film me. I don't blame Aaron... I can't call Bart because of what I did to him, I can't be near him for a prolonged amount of time. Oh cameraman, what am I gonna do? Just then, one of the Russian Prison Guards busts into the room and goes over to Yelich and uncuffs him from his chair. Russian Prison Guard: Stand up, you have been released from all charges. Yelich is surprised and overcome with glee as he is escorted out of the prison to the opening, where he finds the person that got him released from prison, that person being... wait what the hell is that- Yelich: TOM CRUISE?! Tom Cruise greets Yelich with a handshake as Yelich is stunned with glee in that one of his lifelong heroes in Tom Cruise, star of great movies such as Mission Impossible, Mission Impossible 2, Mission Impossible 3, Mission Impossible 4, Mission Impossible 5, Mission Impossible 6, and Austin Powers in Goldmember, has saved him from undisclosed Russian Prison. Tom Cruise: Well how could I not save someone who is such a devout and firm believer in Scientology such as yourself from such a bad situation? Yelich: Yeah... totally Tom. Tom Cruise: Oh also Yelich, I have a gift for you. Yelich: Really!? What is it? Before giving him the gift, Tom Cruise walks Yelich out of the prison and to the outside. He then gives him a rolled up blue paper which Yelich marvels at as his eyes go wide in wonder. Yelich: Is this... is this a blueprint on how to make a hydrogen bomb?! Tom Cruise: Sure is. Yelich puts the blueprint in his pocket before hugging Tom Cruise from how happy he is at this moment. He stops hugging after he remembers this is Tom Cruise he's talking to and is a very important person. However, one could easily see how joyous Yelich is at this current moment. Yelich: Oh Tom Cruise, you're the best! Tom Cruise: Anything for you. Oh and also, before I forget. I have some people working on something else for M.A.N Global because of how big of a fan I am, so in a few weeks I'm going to call you and Aaron down so I can give you an extra special gift. Yelich: Well, we'll be there as soon as you call Tom. I can't wait. Anyways, how did you get me out of here anyways? Tom Cruise: I called in a few favors, I'll tell you more some other time, what really matters is you winning that Story of Temples match at Chapter 2, so go on, go to the Airport, get into Egypt and go win that match! Go get them Yelich! Yelich: Yeah! See ya Tom! I'm gonna go win the Story of Temples match! Yelich goes off to go hail a taxi as Tom Cruise walks around the corner as we see a very important man show up. Vladimir Putin: You owe me big time Cruise. Tom Cruise: Yeah yeah, I'll go to your grandson's birthday party. Vladimir Putin: YES! I'm gonna be the best grandfather ever. Thanks Tom! Putin is happy as can be at this news as Tom Cruise puts sunglasses on and looks very cool. The screen then fades to black as the segment comes to a close.
  2. MITB Ladder Match: Arius vs Bashka vs Brad vs BrendenPlayz vs FDS vs George Kent Sameer (c) vs Ryan Reeves - World Championship Yelich Anderson (c) vs Jeremiah Flynn - Undisputed Championship Blade vs Kieron Black - Number One Contender to Universal Championship Hans Clayton vs Julius Jones vs William Smith - Intercontinental Championship (Unification of US, IC and NA) Bob Sparks vs KENJI - European Championship (Unification of NXT and Premium) Number One Contender to the Intercontinental Championship: Bart Hoogveld vs Joshua Scott
  3. MANNY! DICKHEAD, LET ME BACK IN MY CRYOSLEEP CHAMBER! I BUILT THIS SO I CAN LIVE TO SEE 2100, NOT SO YOU CAN LIVE TO SEE 2100, SO GET THE FU- oh are we rolling? Oh, uhm, hey guys! It's me Weco Dilson, totally not trying to wake up my very good friend and colleague Manny Moleman from his cryosleep. Today I'm actually going to be looking into Survival Games, just like my friend Manny Moleman did in his second to last appearance for us before WAKING ME UP FROM MY CRYOSLEEP AND STEALING MY INVENTION FOR HIS PETTY SELF.... no, not bitter, not bitter at all.... This is who I think Carnage and Valor will pick for Survival Games 2020, let's get on with this. WHO I THINK WILL BE IN SURVIVAL GAMES THIS YEAR: Honorable Mentions: Flynn, Jonathan, Raven, Alex Costa KENJI The man who has been hyping up his spot in this since the end of the last one, KENJI is possibly the only person you can be 100% sure on being in this years Survival Games tournament and likely the top pick to win it currently. And as he is the only person who has expressed a willingness and want to be in this year's Survival Games on BPZ programming, he is a surefire pick for this year. Ropati Up next is the King of the Ring and possible next BPZ World Heavyweight Champion, Ropati. The New Zealand Native has been hot over the past months, and him joining Survival Games on the Carnage side seems like a natural progression for him. Though if Carnage doesn't want the new World Heavyweight Champion immediately going into a tournament where he could possibly lose multiple times, I wouldn't blame them for not putting him in. Though at this point I see him entering it. Alyx Wilde The newly returning Alyx Wilde looks like a great fit for the Survival Games tournament. Not only is Alyx great on the microphone, but it is the perfect way to get him back into the swing of things here in BPZ and really put him back on our TV's in full force. Plus this way we get to see some cool matches we might have missed out on due to Alyx's absence such as Alyx Wilde vs KENJI or if they're in it, Alyx Wilde vs Raven and Alyx Wilde vs Alex Costa. Isaiah Carter Isaiah Carter I thought was a great pick for this, a returning former two time BPZ World Heavyweight Champion looking to become a top champ once more. And then I saw his new character, which while we have weirder on BPZ (see Eric Shun naked on the Sphinx and Yelich trying to steal a hydrogen bomb), this whole concussion thing would feel odd for Survival Games. However, I still think it could be good and that this current gimmick might be a short lived one (he briefly snapped out of it in a recent segment also including Flynn) so he could still work very well in Survival Games and maybe begin a feud against some of FD-Gun (that match vs KENJI would be a good highlight if he were to be in the tournament). Bailey Up next we have the leader of The Death Riders and the man who is going one on one with KENJI in a No Holds Barred match at SummerSlam, The GOAT himself, Bailey, is my next prediction to be in this years Survival Games tournament. Bailey is in a weird spot right now where he is one of the top stars on Carnage but he isn't really in the spot to challenge for a title, so Survival Games would work for him greatly. The only way I don't see him being in Survival Games this year is if he personally turns it down or defeats KENJI at SummerSlam and is lined up for a possible match vs FD for the Universal Championship while Survival Games is going on, though the jury is still out of whether he will defeat KENJI right now, so it currently is a safer bet to say Bailey will be in Survival Games right now. Echo Wilson And number six for Carnage is the former Man of the Year and the first man of the Brand Split 2.0 to say fuck it to the rules and just show up on the other brand's show as at Valor Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo: Exodus: New Frontier: Sands of Time: Ur Uncle's A Binman: Subtitle #6, Echo Wilson will be teaming with Brad to face Creed for the BPZ Tag Team Championships. Now Carnage could give this spot to Raven, Alex Costa, Jonathan, Flynn, or someone else, but the reason I say Echo Wilson is he feels like the biggest deal out of those people. He was not put in a tournament for a midcard title like Raven or Alex. He is not in trade rumors a bunch like Jonathan. And he isn't in a spot right now where it seems like he's about to be off doing his own thing that isn't related to the Universal Title picture like Flynn. Echo feels like the best of the rest here so that's why I selected him. Honorable Mentions: Gunner, Eric Shun, Addy, Tamer, Brad Sameer/Slim Let's first get the obvious one out of the way, the person who loses the Sameer vs Slim match at Valor Chapter 1: Exodus: New Frontier (everyone is just calling it Exodus but the logo clearly shows there are two subtitles, and that makes the naming scheme very awkward) is going into the Survival Games tournament. And if they don't... that would diminish the pool of talent for Valor to use in this tournament significantly, and therefore would be dumb of them to do in my opinion. Arius Up next for Valor is the current BPZ World Heavyweight Champion, Arius. Arius of course was not allowed in last years Survival Games tournament due to being the North American Champion at the time. Though the original plan was for the loser of Arius vs Yelich to be in the tournament, though with the two having a draw at SummerSlam, that made it so neither entered. Arius would have likely been a favorite to win last year's Survival Games if he were to have been apart of it, and if he were to join this year's Survival Games, he would without a doubt be a favorite to win and many would likely predict an Invictus final, which would be pretty hype. But I do see the arguments against him joining, such as the fact that he might defeat Ropati at SummerSlam and then he'd be the BPZ World Heavyweight Champion still and you don't want them losing matches in a tournament. Which I understand but I think even if he is the champion at that point, and with recent exits from Valor and two of the other biggest stars of Valor being Tag Team Champions currently and would not be able to join the tournament, you kinda really need Arius to be in this tournament if you are Valor. Bob Sparks Now we have Bob Sparks, who after the sudden absences of his partners in Cut Throat Crew, looks primed for a singles run on Valor. And that definitely looks more and more true as he is facing Necce in a one on one match at Valor Chapter 2: If You Make Fun of The Egyptian President You Go To Jail in what is sure to be a big match. Now I could see Bob actually not being in this tournament and getting an Undisputed Title shot while the tournament is going on, especially if he defeats Necce at Chapter 2. But with this Story of Temples thing happening, it seems whoever gets the Undisputed Title match shot in that will be ahead of Bob in the pecking order, so it seems like they might force Bob into the tournament, which is why I'm putting him here. Necce Necce backstage has shared interest in joining the Survival Games tournament in which would be a huge deal. Necce doesn't have a very frequent schedule so this tournament would give you a guaranteed five big Necce matches, which BPZ would love (please inject Necce vs Arius into my veins ASAP). Necce currently at Valor Chapter 2: We're in an Outdoor Arena in Egypt During Summer on God Please Help Us is facing Bob Sparks, and win or lose, places both men on a nice pedestal to either join Survival Games or become the next Number One Contender to the Undisputed Championship behind the person who wins that shot in the Story of Temples match. So Necce being in Survival Games makes a lot of sense currently to me, and that's why I've chosen him here. Mikey Then we have Mikey, who after a great showing in the Power Trip Cup and being announced to be a member of the Story of Temples match at Valor Chapter 2: SubtitleMania, looks like a great pick to be apart of the Survival Games tournament. He is shown he is valued as a top member of Valor brass by not putting him in the Untitled Valor Midcard Championship Title tournament, and him being in Survival Games would only reaffirm that positioning. He seems like great pick for it. Yelich Yelich being here is mainly a "well let's see who we have left" deal. I doubt Bart & Smith lose the tag titles anytime soon so I wouldn't put them here, Tamer while I want him to be back full time, is very stop start often with comebacks, so i don't think a schedule like Survival Games would suit him. Gunner and Brad are possibilities, though I think Brad would have other things he would want to do on his never-ending retirement tour than be in Survival Games. Gunner, Eric Shun, and Addy are the top three alternatives to this Yelich choice, as whoever loses that final (if they even make it to the final over Austin Omega & Marc Aaron Newton) I could see making it into here, Eric Shun & Gunner especially with their pedigrees, but currently the safest bet to me is Yelich. Though if Hans or Sheridan return before Survival Games, don't be surprised if this spot is taken by one of them. Anyways, I've been Weco Dilson, and I hope you enjoyed that list that probably could've been two parts. Dammit I could've gotten double the clicks off of this. Oh well, I guess you guys are getting more bang for your buck. Anyways, stop rolling, I need to nicely have a talk with my friend Manny here. LET ME BACK IN MY CRYOSLEEP CHAMBER YOU LITTLE BI-
  4. PRO WRESTLING UNIVERSE: WEEKLY AWARDS __________________________________________________________________ WRESTLER(S) OF THE WEEK THE RASCALZ While the Wrestler of the Week award usually goes to a singular person such as Cesaro last week and Minoru Suzuki the two weeks previous, this week Dez, Trey, and Wentz of the Rascalz had a big week. First on IMPACT, Trey scored the win for his team in a Six-Man Tag match including all of the members of the X-Division Championship Ultimate X match by pinning Johnny Swinger, starting his week off hot. This was then parlayed into more success as Trey would then win the X-Division Championship in the opening contest of United We Stand, winning the Ultimate X match against Suicide, Johnny Swinger, Chris Bey, Petey Williams, and defending champion Ace Austin, allowing him to capture his first taste of gold in IMPACT Wrestling. However not to be outdone, Dez & Wentz later on on United We Stand as they defeated The North and the team of Willie Mack & Rich Swann in a Triple Threat Tag Team match that they got through Dez using his Feast or Fired opportunity here, pinning one half of the then reigning champs nonetheless in Ethan Page as they finally ended the longest IMPACT Tag Team Championship Reign in history. Trey after this match would come out and celebrate with the Dez and Wentz, and The Rascalz capped off a huge night for them, earning them the grand title of Wrestlers of the Week. MATCH OF THE WEEK DAKOTA KAI VS TEGAN NOX - STEEL CAGE MATCH Despite the two pay-per-views this weekend by NJPW and IMPACT Wrestling, this week's match of the week is awarded to the main event of this week's NXT, where we saw Dakota Kai and Tegan Nox go to war in a Steel Cage match. The match included lots of interference near the end by Raquel Gonzalez and Toni Storm, but it would be a masked woman who would come in the cage to take down LeRae and get Kai the win. This woman would be revealed to be Candice LeRae as she, Kai, and Gonzalez celebrated at the top of the ramp to close out NXT. It will be very interesting to see where these women go from here, as the NXT Women's division continues to get more and more stacked. Is Kai vs Nox continuing? Are we getting LeRae vs Nox? Storm vs Kai? Is Kai getting a shot at the NXT Women's Championship soon? Many interesting questions, and the only way to get the answers is by continuing to watch NXT. TV SHOW OF THE WEEK WEDNESDAY NIGHT NXT Once again, for the second week in a row, Wednesday Night NXT has won the TV Show of the Week award. And a deserving week for them to win it on it was, as we saw three big matches to kick off the Cruiserweight Classic with Tony Nese defeating Joaquin Wilde, KUSHIDA besting Ariya Daivari and Drake Maverick getting a win over Amir Jordan. We also saw some big teasers for future shows and stories here, as we saw the announcement that Joe Hendry will be making his NXT debut next week against NXT legend Johnny Gargano, with on top of that, Killer Kross making a challenge to Tommaso Ciampa for a match at The Great American Bash in four weeks time! Elsewhere we also saw Rhea Ripley defeat Indi Hartwell and a group of masked men kidnap Joaquin Wilde. And finally in the show's main event, we saw the match that was this week's match of the week: Dakota Kai vs Tegan Nox in a Steel Cage match in what was a great bout that ended with Candice LeRae interfering to allow Kai to hit the GTK for the win.
  5. I listen to Spotify a good bit, much more than I used to that's for sure. And the main playlist I listen to is called "Music I Like" because... I'm not good at naming things frankly. There are currently 133? (I think at least) songs on the Music I Like playlist adding up to over 7 hours of music (I've added about 30 minutes worth of music while making this post... just making more work for myself), and I'm gonna go through it artist by artist on posts here because... I think that sounds fun and it gives me a reason for talking about a bunch of bands I really like that I don't think anyone on the forums have ever heard of. I'm gonna go through them by the band/artist that has the most songs on the playlist to the least by the end. I'll likely update past posts if I ever add songs to it from artists I've posted about before as the playlist is ever changing and I probably won't ever stop adding Music I Like until the total playlist adds up to 24 hours worth of music. AJJ: 26 Songs in Total Knife Man: I have six songs on my playlist from the Knife Man album, those being in order of the playlist that they appear in: "Big Bird" "The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" "Gift of the Magi 2: Return of the Magi" "American Tune" "Sad Songs (Intermission)" and "People II 2: Still Peoplin'". To be fair, this should only count as five songs as "The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" lasts like 22 seconds long, but it technically is its own song on the album, so in my playlist it also counts as its own song. The song "Big Bird" is simply amazing, and is one of my personal favorite songs on the playlist altogether, especially when not considering my current flavors of the month (looking at you The Scary Jokes and Apes of the State). I believe "Sad Songs (Intermission)" is a cover of some sort but I'm unsure and too lazy at the current moment to look it up to make sure it is, but I really do like that one as well. "People II 2: Still Peoplin'" has a similar pace to "Sad Songs (Intermission)" minus the great ending to "People II 2: Still Peoplin'" which is a contrast. Finally, the last song I haven't gone over yet is "American Tune" which is about the inherent head start in America straight white males have, and is 100% truthful in the lyrics and also has a cool kazoo in the background. People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World: As you can see on the cover art for this album, you are probably saying: "hey wait a second, that doesn't say AJJ, that says Andrew Jackson Jihad!" and firstly, why are you talking to your computer, it's inanimate. And second, you would be right, because originally the band was known as Andrew Jackson Jihad but they later on shortened the name to AJJ. Do I know when they did this? Yes, but I forgot, and am too lazy to Google at this current moment. Anyways, this album is tied with Knife Man for most songs from an album on my playlist, that being six songs. Those songs are in order of when they appear in the playlist: "Rejoice" "A Song Dedicated To The Memory of Stormy The Rabbit" "Personal Space Invader" "People Ii: The Reckoning" "Brave as a Noun" and "Survival Song". Fun fact, I've actually written a promo using the song "Rejoice" before in a feud earlier this year against Ark. That song is also my personal favorite out of these six, and I would definitely recommend a listen. Other songs I am a really big fan of of these six are "A Song Dedicated To The Memory of Stormy The Rabbit" and "Brave as a Noun" because they're really good and I like them, I don't need anymore reasoning, I just think they're damn good songs. The other three songs I have from this album on this playlist are good too but I definitely prefer those other three I've just mentioned to the other three. The Bible 2: The Bible 2 features five songs on this playlist, those being in the order of appearance on the playlist: "Golden Eagle" "No More Shame, No More Fear, No More Dread" "Goodbye, Oh Goodbye" "White Worms" and "Cody's Theme". These songs include much more electric guitar than the other albums from AJJ do, with "Golden Eagle", "Cody's Theme", and "Goodbye, Oh Goodbye" being prime examples of this and "White Worms" also showing this quite a bit. However despite this, one of the songs I selected from this album is more of a ballad esque song in "No More Shane, No More Fear, No More Dread". My favorite song from this album changes constantly, sometimes it's "Golden Eagle", sometimes it's "Cody's Theme", and sometimes it can even be "White Worms" or "Goodbye, Oh Goodbye". However I will say, the best section that The Bible 2 has in any song is likely the ending of a song that I don't even have included on my playlist, that being the last minute or so to "Small Red Boy", but I don't really jibe with the opening half to the song, so I don't have it on the playlist. But the second half is great. Good Luck Everybody: The most recent album release by AJJ and most political album yet (which is saying something for a band that is already pretty damn political in their music), Good Luck Everybody includes three songs in my playlist which are listed in the order their appearance in the album, them being "Psychic Warfare", "No Justice, No Peace, No Hope", and "A Big Day For Grimley". This album is a definite take back to their original style, and is much more laid back and relaxed, with no electric guitars used on the album at all I believe. I will say that there is a lyric in "A Big Day For Grimley" which hits a bit too close to home, that being: "Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019. And you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020", which... yeah it really is, like REALLY is. "Psychic Warfare" has some really good string sections in it (unsure if its violin or cello or whatever, but it's strings). And I like "No Justice, No Peace, No Hope" and right now as all of this is happening, the song feels much more poignant. Can't Maintain: Can't Maintain is a really underrated album to me, and I am actually a pretty big fan of this album over some other ones from AJJ (Christmas Island, Good Luck Everybody, and even The Bible 2 depending on the day). But I do only have three songs from Can't Maintain on my list of songs on my playlist, them being these songs in the order that they appear: "Heartilation", "Olde(Y) Tyme[Y]" and "Who Are You?". One of my favorite one minute long songs I've ever heard is "Olde(Y) Tyme[Y]" and I would definitely recommend that song. "Who Are You?" is also another very good song, it being about Sean Bonnette's (the lead singer of AJJ) relationship with his estranged father. "Heartilation" is also a really cool song that I like to listen to often. Christmas Island: And finally we come to Christmas Island, which like Good Luck Everybody and Can't Maintain includes three songs in my playlist, those being these in the order of their appearance in the playlist: "Children of God", "Getting Naked, Playing With Guns", and "Kokopelli Face Tattoo". I really like all of these but for different reasons. "Getting Naked, Playing With Guns" is a nice slower pace song and I think it sounds good, "Children of God" goes hard and is cool as fuck, and "Kokopelli Face Tattoo" is just a great song. I will say however, Christmas Island is my least favorite album of the six albums I've listed here, but it's still a really good album with good songs, especially to me the three songs I've mentioned here. If anyone would like to look at the playlist here it is: Music I Like I hope someone enjoyed this post because this took forever, next one will likely be a lot shorter because there is no other band that has 20+ songs on this playlist.... I'm like 99% sure about that at least. Anyways, if you read all of this OH MY GOD! DM ME, PLEASE I WANT TO PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR EFFORTS! Anyways, bye!
  6. We would open on the display for the Tsar Bomba in Moscow. The largest Weapon of Mass Destruction in existence, the Tsar Bomba has the capability to decimate all in New York City and cause a blast that will affect an area larger than the size of Northern Ireland. The camera then cuts to Yelich walking into this building, because of course he is. Yelich shakes hands with the man in the front of the building who then escorts him to see the Tsar Bomba. Russian Man Who's Name We Do Not Know But Will Assume Is Sergei: Now as you see here Mr. Yelich, this is the Tsar Bomba, a hydrogen bomb that is the largest and deadliest ever produced, 100,000 kilotons of energy are released in its blast. Yelich: It really is a thing of beauty, hey I'm a bit parched, can you go get me a water or something? Maybe a soda? I'll pay. Russian Man Who's Name We Do Not Know But Will Assume Is Sergei... no wait now that I think about it it's gotta be Andrey: We only have vodka. Yelich: Sure, I'll take it, here's 30 dollars. After Yelich throws counterfeit rubles at The Russian man who's name we can only assume is Sergei or Andrey... possibly Alexander, takes Yelich's money and goes to get him vodka. Once he's gone from the room, Yelich runs over to the back of the Tsar Bomba. Yelich: QUICK, PEOPLE I HIRED THAT ARE CONVENIENTLY HIDDEN AROUND THIS AREA THAT HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN UNTIL NOW, HELP ME WHEEL THIS OUT! Just then, a bunch of very conveniently hidden people around the area run to Yelich and begin helping him wheel the Tsar Bomba out of the museum and into a large truck that is also very conveniently outside, and I think Yelich is in the process of stealing. Yelich: Okay, roll it up this ramp and into the truck and then close the truck up, I'm going to go start it. Yelich goes to the front of the 18-wheeler truck and gets in after struggling for a solid 45 seconds to get up the first step. Once Yelich is in the 18-wheeler truck, he finds the keys which are conveniently already in the cup holder because this promo needs to work dammit. The shot then cuts to the people Yelich employed finally getting the Tsar Bomba fully rolled into the truck and closing the back of the truck up. Yelich then speeds off without paying these people or giving them a ride out of Russia, because they just stole the Tsar Bomba for him. As he speeds off, you can see them already getting arrested by Russian Police. Yelich: Now that I have the Tsar Bomba, there's no way I can lose the Story of Temples match, they'll have to let me win, they'll have to let me win everything, THE WORLD IS MINE! Loud thumps can be heard in the back of the truck. The Tsar Bomba was never strapped down, so now it is rolling around in the truck. Yelich is very afraid that because of this, it might go off and kill him. However, Yelich can not stop the truck, because the Russian Police are chasing him as Yelich attempts flees across the border into Georgia, to eventually make it to Egypt. Yelich's face however suddenly turns from one of fear to one of determination. Yelich: By the power of Xenu, I will take this Bomb and no one will be able to stop me! He stopped the Teegeeack with hydrogen bombs and just like him, I will stop Arius, Gunner, Mikey, and another person who I do not know yet with a hydrogen bomb and I will win the Story of Temples match with both medallions. I don't care if it isn't how the match works, I have Xenu on my side, I can do anything I want. I can take the Tsar Bomba if I damn well please, and no one can tell me to stop. The Russian Police chasing Yelich behind him go on a intercom so Yelich can hear him from in the truck and they tell him to "STOP THE VEHICLE AND PULL OVER NOW OR WE WILL SHOOT!" Yelich's face goes white as a sheet at this and he immediately complies, backpedaling on everything he just said. The officer then comes out of his car, pistol drawn and forcefully pulls Yelich out of the truck before slapping handcuffs on him. Yelich: WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I HAVE A FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO STEAL A HYDROGEN BOMB! Russian Policeman: YOU'RE IN RUSSIA, DIPSHIT! Yelich: WELL... XENU WILL STILL BLOW THAT UP BUT INSTEAD OF IT BEING ON MY OPPONENTS IT'S GONNA BE ON RUSSIA BECAUSE OF MY PRAYERS TO HIM. YOU'RE GONNA DIE! YEAH TAKE THAT RUSSIA! FUCK YOU PUTIN! Russian Policeman: IMBECILE, THAT'S A REPLICA! WE WOULD NOT PUT THE REAL TSAR BOMBA IN A MUSEUM! Yelich is pushed roughly towards the police car after being patted down for possible weapons on his person. He is stunned that he would not have even succeeded in getting the actual Tsar Bomba even if he did escape Russia with his cargo. His face looks much more scared now as he fully realizes the situation he is currently in. Yelich: BPZ PAY MY BAIL I NEED TO BE IN EGYPT FOR MY MATCH, DON'T LET THE KGB MURDER ME! Yelich is then shoved into the back of the police car as Yelich looks out with a scared look on his face, a bead of sweat dripping down his face. He mouths "help me" as the police car begins to pull away and the segment turns to black.
  7. God my music taste is so much different than everyone else on the forums.
  8. Podcast posted this time: Ft. FDS, Necce, Sameer, Bailey, Slim, and Jonathan
  9. WRESTLING SATSUMA NO KUNI 2020: Saturday - 5.16.2020 Match One: In the opening match of Wrestling Satsuma no Kuni 2020, Hirooki Goto & LA Dojo Young Lion Karl Fredericks would face former ROH World Tag Team Champions PCO & Brody King of Villain Enterprises. In a shocker, Karl Fredericks would actually pin PCO with a surprise roll up in 9:59. In the backstage comments, Fredericks would say that he has been waiting to break out of the Young Lion role, and with this win he has been granted it, and that he wants to show that that pin was not a fluke, so he wants PCO one on one at Wrestling Dontaku. Match Two: TAKA Michinoku & DOUKI of Suzuki-gun defeated The Mega Coaches (Rocky Romero & Ryusuke Taguchi) in 10:57 after DOUKI hit the Suplex de la Luna onto Romero. In a post-match interview, TAKA would announce that from his pin on SHO at Sakura Genesis and his win with DOUKI tonight, that he and DOUKI are officially challenging Roppongi 3K for the IWGP Junior Tag Team Championships at Wrestling Dontaku. Match Three: In the third match of the night, the first of three Suzuki-gun vs LIJ matches would take place, as El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru of Suzuki-gun would go up against IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion Hiromu Takahashi & NEVER Openweight Six-Man Tag Team Champion BUSHI of Los Ingobernables de Japon. In a shocking finish, Kanemaru would mist Jack Daniels into the eyes of Hiromu Takahashi as referee Marty Asami was down due to Desperado pushing BUSHI into him. Kanemaru would follow this up by hitting Hiromu with the Deep Impact before pinning the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion in the middle of the ring in 13:28. After the match, Kanemaru would hold up Takahashi's IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship, signalling he wants to go for the title, before throwing it back onto Hiromu and leaving with Desperado. Match Four: In the night's fourth contest, Jay White, KENTA, and El Phantasmo of Bullet Club would go up against Kazuchika Okada, Tomohiro Ishii, and Robbie Eagles of CHAOS. Okada would want to start the match with white, but White would tag out to KENTA to open the bout. At one point when Okada was downed, White would beckon KENTA to tag him in, and he would then toy and laugh at a weakened Rainmaker. Okada however would get back into the match and bring the fight back to White, allowing him to get a hot tag to Ishii. In the finish of the match, Okada would be back as the legal man and would be getting ready to hit the Rainmaker on El Phantasmo, but Gedo would get up on the apron and Okada would go over to Gedo angrily. This would allow Phantasmo to tag in Jay White who would have Gedo's brass knuckles, and White would turn around Okada and hit him with them before throwing them away and hitting Okada with the Blade Runner! White would then pin Okada in 16:09 as he got another one over on the Rainmaker. Okada would be enraged in post-match comments, demanding a one on one match against The Switchblade at Wrestling Dontaku. Match Five: In the fifth match of the night, British Heavyweight Champion Taichi & Miro of Suzuki-gun would go up against NEVER Openweight Champion and NEVER Openweight Six-Man Tag Team Champion Shingo Takagi & the man who just lost the IWGP Heavyweight Championship to Minoru Suzuki at Sakura Genesis, IWGP Intercontinental Champion Tetsuya Naito. Naito's downfall would continue in this match, as the new British Heavyweight Champion would get one over him with a microphone stand shot followed up by a Black Mephisto for the three count in 17:42. In post-match comments, Taichi & Miro would say they deserve IWGP Intercontinental and NEVER Openweight Championship title shots respectively due to Taichi's win tonight over Naito and Miro's win back in the New Japan Cup against Shingo Takagi, and that they want these matches at Wrestling Dontaku. Match Six: In the sixth and final non-title match of the night, IWGP Heavyweight Champion Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre Jr. of Suzuki-gun would go up against SANADA & NEVER Openweight Six-Man Tag Team Champion EVIL of Los Ingobernables de Japon. Earlier tonight, every Suzuki-gun team has won their match, but that would not be the case here, as EVIL would actually pin Zack Sabre Jr. after hitting the Everything Is EVIL on him in 19:17. EVIL would after the match point to Suzuki's IWGP Heavyweight Title, signalling he wants a title shot. In post-match comments, Suzuki would say "If the so called 'King of Darkness' thinks he can step to the King, I would love to end his career." Semi-Main Event: In tonight's semi-main event, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows of The Bullet Club would make their official NJPW return match against Golden☆Ace (Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kota Ibushi) in a match for Golden☆Ace's IWGP Tag Team Championships. The two teams would have a very even back and forth match, but in the end it would be Anderson & Gallows hitting the Magic Killer onto The Ace of the Universe Hiroshi Tanahashi and pinning him for the three count victory in 23:02, making Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows in their return match to New Japan Pro Wrestling, your new IWGP Tag Team Champions. Main Event: Finally in the main event of Satsuma no Kuni, we'd see IWGP United States Champion Jon Moxley defend his championship against the rising David Finlay who defeated him in Round Two of the New Japan Cup. The two would have a battle with quite a few callbacks to the match from last month, and in the finish Finlay would hit a Prima Nocta and go for another one to hopefully put Moxley away like he did last time, but Moxley would stop this one from happening, and would throw Finlay off of him before hitting a short Double Arm DDT and then picking up Finlay again to hit a big Death Rider to put Finlay away in 28:00. After the match Moxley and Finlay would shake hands and Moxley would raise Finlay's hand, as tonight Finlay truly proved he belongs in the upper echelon of heavyweight talent here in NJPW. Predictions Results: @Echo Wilson - 6/10 (6/8)(0/2) @Austin Omega - 3/10 (3/8)(0/2) @BobdaBomb - 4/10 (3/8)(1/2) @Gwynfro - 4/10 (3/8)(1/2) @Eric Shun - 4/10 (3/8)(1/2) @Alex Costa - 7/10 (6/8)(1/2) @FDS - 7/10 (6/8)(1/2)
  10. Yelich

    WWE "Improved"

    It's time for a very special episode of WWE "Improved" where today I am going to be changing the character of not just one WWE Superstar, but two. I know stunning news. We must get into it right away. CAMERON GRIMES/EMBER MOON The Old Gimmicks Cameron Grimes is a southern boy who thinks he's hot shit but in reality he's just an annoying idiot to everybody in the upper midcard and main event scenes (even though he's pushed pretty well). Ember Moon is a great in-ring competitor who has a cool entrance and finisher... that's about it. The New Gimmick So Cameron Grimes has a new catchphrase (it might not be that new but to me it is new) where he keeps yelling that "I'M GONNA GO STRAIGHT, TO THE MOOOOON!" which... Carolina boy Cameron Grimes yelling about the moon is weird but I do kinda like it and find it amusing, so we're going to add intricacy to it by having Cameron Grimes be paired up with Ember Moon. How do we do this? Well Cameron Grimes will install a TV to be placed at the top of the ramp for many weeks and even months, that is simply a live feed of the moon outside of Full Sail University/Wherever they're holding NXT. Grimes in every match will point at it and yell that he's gonna go straight "TO THE MOOON!" and whenever Ember Moon is about to come back from injury (hopefully she does sometime) Grimes will win a title for once (let's say North American or NXT) and when he points to the moon to yell his catchphrase, it'll turn red, and Ember Moon will come out. We will then learn that when Grimes has been saying he's going straight to the moon, he means he's going straight to Ember Moon. Then these two will become a power couple on NXT like LeRae & Gargano or Scarlett & Kross, leading to the NXT Mixed Match Challenge because that's what everybody wants and needs.... besides head of course. All you did was make Ember Moon & Cameron Grimes a couple, you didn't really change their gimmicks. ....hush. This is my diary and I will write what I want to. Plus, that moment when the moon turns red would be cool as fuck, and I don't want to hear you try to deny it because it would be. I mean... not really Well of course you'd say that, you hate everything bold italicized text person. But anyone who doesn't only see the negatives in things, would love it. ....Sure. Sure as hell. Anyways, that was this very special episode of WWE "Improved" and I hope you all enjoyed it. I am now going to go pray this posts and that the forums aren't down again. Goodbye!
  11. IMPACT UNITED WE STAND: IMPACT World Championship Match, If Tessa Loses She Must Leave IMPACT:Tessa Blanchard VS Moose (c) IMPACT Tag Team Championship Match: The Rascalz VS Rich Swann/Willie Mack VS The North (c) Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/??? VS Hardcore Legends Ken Shamrock Retirement Match: Sami Callihan VS Ken Shamrock Loser Leaves IMPACT: Michael Elgin VS Eddie Edwards X-Division Championship Ultimate X Match: Trey VS Chris Bey VS Petey Williams VS Suicide VS Johnny Swinger VS Ace Austin (c) Knockout's Championship Match: Taya Valkyrie VS Jordynne Grace (c) TJP/Fallah Bahh VS Team XXXL BONUS QUESTIONS: Who is the tag team partner for Tommy Dreamer and Rhino in their match? Crazzy Steve Two former IMPACT champions will make their return at this show. Who will they be? Mike Bennett & Crazzy Steve
  12. NJPW WRESTLING SATSUMA NO KUNI: IWGP United States Championship Match: Jon Moxley (c) vs David Finlay IWGP Tag Team Championship Match: Golden☆Ace (Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kota Ibushi) (c) vs Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows Suzuki-gun (Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre Jr.) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (SANADA & EVIL) Suzuki-gun (Taichi & Miro) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi) CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada, Tomohiro Ishii, & Robbie Eagles) vs Bullet Club (Jay White, KENTA, & El Phantasmo) Suzuki-gun (El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI) Suzuki-gun (TAKA Michinoku & DOUKI) vs Rocky Romero & Ryusuke Taguchi Hirooki Goto & Karl Fredericks vs Villain Enterprises (PCO & Brody King) BONUS QUESTIONS: There are three Suzuki-gun vs LIJ matches at this show, who will win the majority of these matches?: This show will set up many matches for Wrestling Dontaku, Name one of them: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ IMPACT UNITED WE STAND: IMPACT World Championship Match, If Tessa Loses She Must Leave IMPACT:Tessa Blanchard VS Moose (c) IMPACT Tag Team Championship Match: The Rascalz VS Rich Swann/Willie Mack VS The North (c) Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/??? VS Hardcore Legends Ken Shamrock Retirement Match: Sami Callihan VS Ken Shamrock Loser Leaves IMPACT: Michael Elgin VS Eddie Edwards X-Division Championship Ultimate X Match: Trey VS Chris Bey VS Petey Williams VS Suicide VS Johnny Swinger VS Ace Austin (c) Knockout's Championship Match: Taya Valkyrie VS Jordynne Grace (c) TJP/Fallah Bahh VS Team XXXL BONUS QUESTIONS: Who is the tag team partner for Tommy Dreamer and Rhino in their match? Two former IMPACT champions will make their return at this show. Who will they be?
  13. Yelich

    Scientology

    Valor returns from commercial break and the Evolve intro (it's just clips of Yelich and Marc Aaron Newton, and also one clip of Nardie for good measure) plays signalling it is time for the Evolve portion of the show. The screen then morphs into OH JESUS CHRIST! Yelich and Marc Aaron Newton are seen standing in front of the infamous Los Angeles Scientology Church smiling gleefully... I'm going to go scream into a pillow for a bit. Yelich: Hey everyone! It's me, Evolve GM Yelich, here with Business Partner and best Investor a man can ask for, Marc Aaron Newton. And today, we're getting ANOTHER BUSINESS PARTNER! Marc Aaron Newton: Yes, today we're here to announce that Scientology is now the official religion of Evolve Wrestling! And that we are fully committed to praying to Xenu every night, and you should too! Yelich: They are giving M.A.N Global, and the entirety of Evolve and their fans who pray devotedly to Xenu the strength and push needed to get what they want in life. He will also from this bring mercy upon us, so he does not strike us down like he did to his people in Incident II which we will not look further into, because the hologram of L. Ron Hubbard himself we talked to, told us if we tried to solve it, we'd die of pneumonia. Marc Aaron Newton: From us praying to Xenu and accepting him into our lives, it is without a doubt that I will win this Valor Exclusive Championship and bring it to Evolve and for Yelich to win the Temple Match against those sickly non-believer opponents of his. Yelich: Even without Xenu we're still the best wrestlers in the world. But with Xenu and the Church of Scientology on our side, M.A.N Global is unstoppable. Marc Aaron Newton: The dictator of the Galactic Confederacy will always smile upon us. And just like he did to Teegeeack, we will defeat our opponents until Evolve reigns supreme in BPZ... except we're not gonna pulverize them with hydrogen bombs and countless volcanoes, but rather hit lots of wrestling moves unti- Marc's phone begins buzzing from his pocket, making him sigh in annoyance as he looks at it before accepting the call. As M.A.N does this, Yelich begins thinking out loud as he stares at the California sky... he might be looking straight into sun... knowing Yelich he probably is, he is very stupid. Marc Aaron Newton: Tony... Tony no for the last time, we can not go to M&M World for you, we are at the LOS ANGELES Scientology Church, not the Times Square one... sigh Yes we can get you a big bag of M&M's on our way back... I KNOW you have a peanut allergy, I'm not getting the Peanut or Peanut Butter M&M's, now can you excuse me, Yelich & I have very important things we are doing right now... Love you too, bye. Yelich: I wonder if I can make a hydrogen bomb to beat Arius again.... hmmm. Marc hangs up on Tony Tastic, breathing a sigh of relief before returning to Yelich. Marc Aaron Newton: He insists on saying "I love you" because he thinks it builds team friendship, I can't stand it. By the way, did you say anything? Yelich: Nothing of much importance, and leave Tony alone, he's new to the scene, and he's going to pick up that win over GRV at Exodus, really building up the Evolve brand. You should be supportive of him. Marc Aaron Newton: Yeah I know... You think we said enough to suit the Evolve segment? I wanna go meet Tom Cruise. Yelich: Oh my god, he can teach us about Mummies before we go to Egypt! Marc Aaron Newton: Exactly! And how to be on the run from an intelligence agency like he did in that Mission Impossible movie! Yelich: Wait, why would we need that? Marc Aaron Newton: Oh don't you know? They HATE Scientology in Egypt, and the police are SUPER corrupt there, they'll throw us in jail if we aren't hidden enough. Yelich:...Fuuuuuu- The screen abruptly cuts to black as Valor returns to a commercial break, everyone at home's heads hurting from how much they know about Scientology now.
  14. Possible New Names And Designs For The New Valor Exclusive Championship Someone stole by cryosleep chamber while I was filming that last segment for Commentaries, bastard. When Manny Moleman gets out of the cryosleep chamber I'm giving him a piece of my mind. Anyways, I'm Weco Dilson, no relation to Echo Wilson, and these are the possible new names and designs for the new Valor Exclusive Championship. The European Championship: The European Championship has been rumored as a possible new championship for Valor, apparently with Valor wrester Austin Mirage being a big proponent of bringing to old title back. The European Title of course precedes the days of any brand split, prviously being used as a title for people in between pushes for the United States and Intercontinental title matches, with the final ever champion being Alyx Wilde back in 2017 when the title was retired. However, it is very unlikely that this title returns, as many backstage are adamant that it stays retired and does not become an active title once more, especially not as a Valor exclusive. Atlas Championship: A new title that has been swirled around, the Atlas Championship looks quite nice and has the Greek God Atlas holding up the BPZ logo on it. Atlas was the Greek God cursed to hold up the world on his shoulders or everyone in the world would die... so that's cool I guess. Proteus Championship: The Proteus Championship looks ugly as hell, at least to me. But the gimmick behind the title is an intriguing one. Apparently, the Proteus Championship would mean whoever is the champion would select the stipulation for any match they have for the championship. I would think that this is a great idea if Carnage wasn't already embracing stipulations for their North American Championship qualifiers before a Fatal Four Way match which, may I remind you, are always No Disqualification. To introduce this title would feel like copying Carnage, and also it looks really gross. Like that is too much purple, tone that down. National Championship: The National Championship would be the best response to the North American Championship that one could get. A title that represents patriotism in America (I know the other one also represents Canada and Mexico but hush) and feels like it could verifiably be a equal counterpart to North American. A few problems with this title is the National Championship does feel like a carbon copy of the United States Championship, and also, to start the National Championship Tournament in Egypt... That's a bit weird and bad. Grand Championship: The Grand Championship, which had a very brief run in the former Evolve (not Yelich's version, but the actual brand version) where Bart decided to change the Evolve Global Championship to the Evolve Grand Championship, before changing it back before his reign even ended. This title while being used previously like the European Championship, to me is more likely to be used as a Valor exclusive title as the title was barely used as an active one on Evolve, and the only ever holder of it was the current Valor General Manager Bart. The only problem with this may be that Yelich or Marc Aaron Newton may want to use the Grand Championship sometime in the future, but Valor has infinite more power than current Evolve ever has, so no one should really care about how they think. Something Else: Current Carnage star Dr. X has been lobbying for a "X-Division" Championship for years, the Television Championship that used to be a Carnage title, could make a return under the Valor banner. And there are many that we here at BPZ Commentaries have not thought of just yet. Valor could have anything up their sleeves, and we don't know what they might pull out. All we have to do is hope that it's not crap. Anyways, I've been Weco Dilson, and I hope you enjoyed this, I'm going to bang on the cryosleep chamber to try and get Manny Moleman to get out of it. Goodbye!
  15. The Worst Team In Pokemon History: Charjabug - Suspicious Bread Dottler - TNA Terrordome Larvesta - Hentai Monster Dwebble - Crab Rave Karrablast - Master Waddle Sizzlipede - Flaccid Alien Dick Whirlipede - Metal Sonic Joltik - Piss Boy
  16. Yelich

    WWE "Improved"

    I got an ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, btw holy fuck more people read that last post than I thought. ROBERT ROODE The Old Gimmick Uhhh... Glorious? The New Gimmick So upon looking at Robert Roode's Wikipedia page, his real name is actually Robert Francis Roode Jr. So by law, I must now make him El Hijo Del Robert Roode. It's in the handbook that is totally real and I did not make up just for this specific post. So now that Robert Roode is El Hijo Del Robert Roode, we need to give him some people to team up with, maybe a stable for him to lead. So Santos Escobar can go by the wayside, because there is only room for one stable now, and that is Legado del Robert Roode. He can keep the theme song since its really good, and actually, he can keep everything about his look, the robe is cool, but give him a mask that sequences with whatever robe he's wearing. Also, now he can just have masked Joaquin Wilde and Raul Mendoza follow him around everywhere and act as his goons. So you just made Robert Roode Santos Escobar... is that it? Yeah it's it. Not everyone is gonna be running an Outback Steakhouse at Full Sail. And also, El Hijo Del Robert Roode is great, and Legado Del Robert Roode is much more of a dominant stable than Legado Del Fantasma will ever be. Especially now that it has one of the best themes in WWE today linked to it. *Sigh* You really are stupid sometimes... actually most of the time. You're a dick you know that. Why can't you just support me when I just come up with a great idea like this. You always gotta nag and call me dumb. Cuz you are dumb. It's El Hijo Del Robert Roode. How is it not dumb? You know what, you're dumb and I'm ending this diary post so you can't talk anymore. Asshat. Anyways thanks for reading byeeeeeeeeeee!
  17. My poster for SummerSlam, which will quite obviously be the one used as it is very high quality (apologies to Arius, I'm sure he was looking forward to making the poster).
  18. The Premium Championship Since January 2019: An Analysis The Premium Championship is the ultimate hot potato title here in BrendenPlayz Pro Wrestling. So we're going to take a closer look at it, just to really indulge in this chaos. I'm Weco Dilson back from my year long cryosleep, and this is An analysis of The Premium Championship since January 2019. The Beginning: At Royal Rumble 2019, Echo Wilson lost the title to Emperor Nate, who actually made a successful defense of the title at St. Valentines Day Massacre 2019 against Joh, Wallace, and Echo Wilson (don't get used to this). Then at BPZ Mania, The Marker had his big victory of the Premium Title in a close match that also included Hollow and Joh. He then also made a successful defense by trouncing Wallace (like I said earlier, don't get used to this, these come few and far between). Some Bad Reigns: FD defeated Marker at Mayhem in June... so Junehem, in a match that also included Aaron North. FD then promptly lost to Sameer the very next month at Judgment Day in a triple threat also including Crippler. Sameer would then lose he Premium Championshp the month after that because BPZ doesn't know how to have a lengthy title reign, losing it to George AK at King of the Ring 2019 in a match also including Kai and Wallace. A Stretch of Okay: BPZ for a spell, actually gave some successful defenses to the holders of the Premium Title. George AK for example, retained at SummerSlam in a Ladder Match against Kieron Black, The Marker, and Ark Universe. Of course he then lost the title to ICON in a triple threat match also including FDS, but at least he got one defense right? And then ICON himself, he got a defense with the title, retaining against No Way Arrow, Hollow, and Kieron Black in a Fatal Fourway at Halloween Havoc. He then lost the next month to Bob Sparks at Survivor Series who then lost the month after to Hans Clayton at Winter Warfare. So that's not so good. But then Hans Clayton had a successful defense at the 2020 Royal Rumble when he beat Jason Ryan and Dr. X. But then, as per usual as no one can get more than one defense, he lost the title to Aaron North in a close match also including Dr. X, Prince, and Brad. And then... then came a bad time. Purgatory: Since Saint Valentine's Day Massacre 2020, there has not been a single Premium Champion that has made a successful defense of the title. At every pass where the title has been defended since then, a new champion has been crowned, in the ultimate BPZ Hot Potato. This is not good. This is a sense of purgatory for the title. Never getting defended successfully. Always getting passed around to the next person. Aaron loses to Gunner who loses to Jonathan who loses to Echo Wilson who loses to Mikey who loses to Bob Sparks. On and on and on and on. It never ever stops. This title is spiraling out of control in calamity, and it seems to be unable to stop as it keeps changing its holder at breakneck speeds. But, there might be hope for the future. A New Hope?: Bob Sparks recently won the Premium Championship off of Mikey in a triple threat match also including Akki Mahal. From backstage rumors, it seems there aren't many challengers who are going for the Premium Championship at SummerSlam, so we may see the first long (more than two title defense) reign in a long time for the BPZ Premium Championship. And god, we here at BPZ Commentaries, sure hope that happens. Anyways, that's it for now. Do you want to see the Premium Championship get defended successfully for once? Or do you only want to see endless pain and suffering surrounding that title? Leave your answers in the comments below, or don't, I'm not your father, I can't tell you what to do. Anyways, I've been Weco Dilson of BPZ Commentaries, and I'm going to go back into my cryosleep chamber for the next six months again. Goodbye!
  19. Yelich

    WWE "Improved"

    So as I'm writing this, I'm in a VC with a bunch of people trashing KUSHIDA, which is gross because I like KUSHIDA, he's a very good wrestler who I got to see wrestle Jay Lethal live once. But I guess I do see their point about him, so let's do this. KUSHIDA The Old Gimmick Tekkers boy that reallllllly likes Back to the Future and can control the lights in the arena by touching his forearm a bit. The New Gimmick So we know he likes Back to the Future a whole lot. So instead of making him the boring main character from Back to the Future, we need to make him the interesting character from Back to the Future. Therefore, make KUSHIDA dye his hair grey, and make it all look frazzled, we are making KUSHIDA Doc Brown from Back to the Future instead of this dumb Marty McFly thing. He will wear a lab coat to the ring instead of that puffy red vest. He can still control the lights by touching his forearm, that's cool. But make KUSHIDA also yell crazily things about science in Japanese, and the rest of the wrestlers, whether they know English or not, can pretend they know exactly what he said. Also give him a Delorean that is functional, so whenever something big and crazy goes wrong, you can have Deus Ex KUSHIDA to fix it. This is stupid, why would you do this, this isn't going to fix KUSHIDA in any way. It's certainly better than whatever the hell he has going on now. He has zero actual character that anyone can invest in. And KUSHIDA doing this could get him in more promo's leading to more screen time leading to more pushes. Plus I wanna see a storyline on WWE Programming where they time travel to the past to fix something, and whoever is KUSHIDA's Marty McFly is kinda gets turned on by his mother. I think the WWE writing team would have a field day with that, and I wanna make their lives a little brighter. Name a single person who cares about the mental health of the WWE Writing Team on these Forums. Should be everybody, they're people too. Mental health isn't a joke weird bold and italics voice I made to antagonize me on my very own diary. So let them have some fun. Ugh I'm leaving Good, I'm going to enjoy Doc Brown KUSHIDA.
  20. I Lost The Other Screenshots so here goes nothing. It's Ring of Honor Wrestling, Live from the Daddy... sorry Draddy Gymnasium! Opening segment was booked by Bob, it was an evening gown match and Charlotte Flair Jr. defeated Angelina Love because Charlotte Flair Jr. is sexier and the bookers prefer her to the old Angelina, even though she's more popular, and better in the ring than any other woman on our roster. After the match, The Big Deal (Hornswoggle) came out and made out with Charlotte Flair Jr. and it was very sexy. Then WALTER in his debut match teamed with Flip Gordon to beat The Boys in a match that Bob also booked... this show was kinda tame looking back on it. Up next, Alex Shelley left his cocaine backstage, and the debuting Crazzy Steve found it and took it... okay maybe it wasn't all that tame. Aaron in his Booking Committee debut wrote this one. And this kickstarted Alex Shelley's new Drug Dealer gimmick. Then in the second best match of the night also booked by Aaron, new signing Jack Evans defeated Alex Shelley in a good showing by both men. Immediately after the good match with sensible booking, Aaron had another segment where Crazzy Steve attacked Session Moth Martina because simply put: "He is Crazzy." Well it can't all be sensible booking I suppose. Crazzy Steve then beat Andrew Everett in another match booked by Aaron (christ how did Aaron get so much shit on this show) and it wasn't that bad, being on par with the opening match. In fact, most of these matches were much better than what happened on Supercard of Honor. It's now time for Gwyn's safe and smart booking decisions! Yay Go Gwyn, Woo Hoo! Up first, Brody King boasted about how great he is even though he definitely lost to CaZ XL at Supercard of Honor, and then it would be announced that Willie Mack will be debuting next week to face Brody King in what was... the worst rated segment on the show?... I guess its fine, everyone's gonna have a mishap, this was just Gwyn's. I'm sure his other segment will do good. And that was a match between The Guerillas of Destiny and the debuting Roppongi Vice, where Roppongi Vice won in what was THE WORST RATED MATCH ON THE SHOW?... What the fuck Gwyn, you're supposed to be the good booker on this. After that FD came in and decided to book some segments. I shouldn't have let him. As Cheeseburger walked in on Marty Scurll choking himself with something, and was weirded out by it so he left. This obviously lead straight into a Six-Man Tag Team Match (as you do) booked by Gwyn, where Marty Scurll & The Briscoes (not the rest of Villain Enterprises for some reason) beat ROH TV Champ Ryu Lee, Dalton Castle, and Cheeseburger in what was the best match of the night. Congrats Gwyn you pulled it back together. I'm not explaining the post-show, don't ask me to. In the end, this show should've had a better rating than what it got, but our product setting fucked us here as we simply had too much great wrestling on the TV. We still gained popularity in 43 regions though with a 37 rated show, because ROH. I think the broadcasters were mad with our performance but... eh who cares about them.
  21. @Eric Shun is an inspiration to us all, especially us who aspire to make graphics, so I made him a sig: I also made these for @Meko750 (Raven)in Booking Division upon request: More great graphics coming soon!
  22. Uncharted Waters From Asbury Park Convention Hall The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Madison Rayne) vs Kylie Rae & Susie Uncharted Waters opens with The Beautiful People going up against the people they've been "bullying" over the past few weeks (Kylie Rae's words, not mine), Kylie Rae & Susie. The Beautiful People would try to get an upperhand in the match by cheating but would be offput by Susie, and too scared to cheat against her, at one point Rayne running away from Susie around the ring as she yelled "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEPY BITCH!" In the end Kylie Rae & Susie would defeat the Beautiful People as Kylie Rae would lock in the Smile To The Finish on Love, making her tap out in 10:09. Kiera Hogan vs Abadon - No Disqualifications A very hobbled Kiera Hogan would be out for her No Disqualifications match against Abadon to try and gain revenge on her for the brutal attack she laid upon her a short few weeks ago. Kiera would try her hardest to beat down Abadon with a Kendo Stick in her hand since the beginning of the match. But Abadon would not allow Kiera to gain the upperhand as she took the whacks from the stick from the beginning by Kiera before catching it, taking it, and beginning to punish Hogan for the rest of the match, eventually defeating her by hitting her with a Soul Reaver (Sitout Spinebuster) onto a pile of steel chairs in 8:27. Abadon would be finished as she would get a mysterious bag from under the ring which would soon be revealed to be thumbtacks which she poured all over the ring canvas. She would look to hit the Soul Reaver once more on Hogan but- ROSEMARY IS HERE! She comes running out to stop Abadon from hitting it on her friend Kiera Hogan. Abadon and The Demon Assassin would then have an intense staredown as thumb tacks laid in between them and Kiera Hogan scooted behind Rosemary in fear of Abadon. After a few moments of this, Abadon would simply left the ring, staring at Rosemary with her cryptic eyes as she went to the back. Grado vs Doug Williams We would then make it to Grado vs Doug Williams, who are fighting here tonight as Grado had a big surprise victory in the main event of the first ever Oceanside Wrestling show, defeating Doug Williams via a roll up. But Doug would call the a fluke, and he would distract Grado in his Semi-Finals match against Carlito right as Grado was setting up for the Wee Boot, allowing Carlito to hit the Backstabber and move onto the finals which will occur later tonight. Grado would then demand this match against Doug which Doug would accept. In the match Grado would again be getting ready to win with the Wee Boot but then Doug would push Grado into the referee, getting him knocked out. Doug would then procure form his tights brass knuckles, which he would hit Grado with before locking in the Guillotine Choke, making Grado pass out in it, and causing the referee to call the match, making Doug Williams win by submission in 16:52, as boos rained down on "The Ambassador of British Wrestling" from the crowd here in Asbury Park. Mr. Anderson vs Carlito - OW King's Championship In our Semi-Main Event of the evening, it would be time for the OW King's Championship Tournament Finals between Mr. Anderson and Carlito. Mr. Anderson to get here defeated BT Gunn in the Quarterfinals and Joseph Conners in the Semis while Carlito defeated Mansoor in the Quarterfinals and then Grado in the Semi-Finals in controversial fashion as he got help from one interfering Doug Williams. This match would see the two going all out and also have attempted interference by Primo & Epico Colon, but the referee would eventually catch them in the act and throw them out and to the back. This would give Anderson the opening he needed to hit the Mic Check onto Carlito and win the match in 18:19 to become the inaugural Oceanside Wrestling King's Champion. Kris Statlander vs Mia Yim vs Candice LeRae - OW Virago Championship And finally in the main event of the evening, Kris Statlander who defeated Deonna Purrazzo to qualify for this match would face off with Mia Yim and Candice LeRae who had a double count out finish to their match on the recent Oceanside Wrestling show, making this a triple threat match. The three would put their all into the match, with them pulling out all the stops they could in their hopes to become the inaugural Oceanside Wrestling Virago Champion. It would be Candice LeRae however being the one to get the win as she would hit Kris Statlander with the Heartbreaker after Statlander hit Yim with the Big Bang Theory to get the pin on Statlander and become the inaugural Oceanside Wrestling Virago Champion in 21:55. LeRae would celebrate in the ring and confetti rained down upon her OW's first ever PPV, Uncharted Waters, came to a close.
  23. Oceanside Wrestling #1 From Asbury Park Convention Hall The packed house in Asbury Park Convention Hall is riled up for the first ever edition of Oceanside Wrestling when Malcolm Bivens makes his way out to the ring with a microphone in hand. Bivens announces himself as the assistant to the Owner of the company, who wishes to remain anonymous. However, the owner has told him to announce the first PPV in Oceanside Wrestling at the end of this month, Uncharted Waters! He also announces the creation of the first two championships in OW history. The men's top title, the OW King's Championship, and the women's top title, the OW Virago Championship, with both champions being crowned at Uncharted Waters later this month. Finally, Bivens announces that the owner has created a Eight Man tournament for the OW King's Championship, starting tonight, and that the owner will decide the OW Virago Championship Match later in the week. Joseph Conners vs Mansoor - OW King's Championship Tournament Round One We then get into the first match in Oceanside Wrestling history, which is a first round match from the OW King's Championship Tournament between Joseph Conners and Mansoor. The two would have a quick paced match, with Mansoor trying to use his superior speed to his advantage. But he would fall to Conners in the end as he would hit the Righteous Kill DDT in 9:49, moving onto the Semi-Finals of the tournament to face the winner of Mr. Anderson vs BT Gunn. Princess KimberLee vs Mia Yim Then the next match of the night would come in Oceanside Wrestling's first ever women's match as Princess KimberLee goes one on one with Mia Yim. The match would be equal for the fisrst few minutes before Mia Yim began to cheat and then punish brutally KimberLee after gaining the upperhand. Yim would eventually win the match after hitting the Package Piledriver in 9:33. Deonna Purrazzo vs Session Moth Martina The third match of the night would then see Deonna Purrazzo face off with Session Moth Martina. Session Moth in all of her drunk glory, would try her best against Deonna, but her best was not good enough as Purrazzo would defeat Session Moth in 7:48 with the Fujiwara Armbar. Doug Williams vs Grado - OW King's Championship Tournament Round One And in the main event of the first ever edition of Oceanside Wrestling, Veteran of the business and one of the best technical wrestlers of recent decades, faced off with the plucky Grado in another OW King's Championship Tournament Round One match. Doug would outwrestle Grado for most of the match, with few bright spots coming for Grado. But in a shocker, Grado would get a lucky roll up on Doug for the victory in 15:03! After the match Doug would be in the ring shocked as Grado celebrated wildly in the crowd for winning his Round One match against Doug as the first episode came to a close. Oceanside Wrestling #2 From Asbury Park Convention Hall Kris Statlander vs Angelina Love w/Madison Rayne We would go straight into the matches in this action packed episode of Oceanside Wrestling, as in the opener we'd see Kris Statlander face Angelina Love with her Beautiful People partner Madison Rayne in her corner. The Beautiful People tried their hardest to cheat their way to victory, but it would not work as Statlander would hit the Big Bang Theory onto Love for the victory in 8:23. Raul Mendoza vs Carlito - OW King's Championship Tournament Round One In the second match on the show, Raul Mendoza and Carlito would fight in their OW King's Championship Tournament Round One match. Carlito would try to keep the match at a slow pace but would not be 100% successful at it, allowing Mendoza to get bursts of offense in. But Carlito would end up hitting the Backstabber and getting the win in 9:45, moving onto the next round to face Grado next week. Kylie Rae would be seen smiling backstage as she talked to a staff member as The Beautiful People walked by after Love lost her match. The Beautiful People would take offense to this and confront Kylie before attacking her and leaving her laying backstage in a heap. Candice LeRae vs Big Swole Candice LeRae would then face off with Big Swole in the next contest of the night, with the two having a 50/50 and evenly fought match. LeRae would win the match with the Heartbreaker in 11:32, and the two would shake hands before and after the match. Kiera Hogan would be out for her match against Abadon, but before the bell could ring, Abadon would attack and ruthlessly attack Hogan. It would be a truly sick display as Abadon would gouge at the eyes of Hogan and torture her mercilessly. The match would never begin as Abadon would begin attacking Hogan with weapons: chairs, kendo sticks, trash cans, and more. The referees too scared of her to stop her. She would eventually relent and simply leave to the back as trainers then rushed to the aid of Kiera Hogan. Mr. Anderson vs BT Gunn - OW King's Championship Tournament Round One And in the main event of the evening, Mr. Anderson would be in a match with BT Gunn in Round One of the OW King's Championship Tournament. In a hard fought match BT Gunn would lose to Mr. Anderson after Anderson hit Gunn with the Mic Check for the victory in 14:21, moving onto the Semi-Finals of the OW King's Championship Tournament to face Joseph Conners. Oceanside Wrestling #3 From Asbury Park Convention Hall To open the show, Malcolm Bivens would come out and announce that the owner has decided that next week on Oceanside Wrestling, the match at Uncharted Waters for the OW Virago Championship will be decided in two qualifying matches. Those two matches being Deonna Purrazzo vs Kris Statlander and Candice LeRae vs Mia Yim, with the winners meeting at Uncharted Waters. Mr. Anderson vs Joseph Conners - OW King's Championship Tournament Semi-Finals In the opening match of the night, we would see Mr. Anderson and Joseph Conners fight for the right to move onto the finals of the OW King's Championship Tournament. And in a hard fought battle between the two men lasting 14:58, Mr. Anderson would defeat Conners with the Mic Check, moving onto the finals of the tournament to face either Carlito or Grado for the right to become the inaugural OW King's Champion. A very injured Kiera Hogan would state that she wants a match against Abadon at Uncharted Waters, her injuries be damned. She would demand that whatever anonymous owner create the match for Uncharted Waters, No Disqualifications. Madison Rayne w/Angelina Love vs Susie In the second match of the night, Madison Rayne (accompanied to the ring by her fellow member of the Beautiful People, Angelina Love) would go one on one with Susie. Angelina Love would be too scared of Susie to interfere in the match, which allowed Susie to win the match in 8:46. Backstage after the match, The Beautiful People would call Susie creepy, but nearby Kylie Rae would storm up to them and get very angry at The Beautiful People for being "bullies." She would then look at Susie who just got to the back now, and would go up to her and hold her hand saying "Hi New Friend!" before walking her away from The Beautiful People, who would scoff at the display. Grado vs Carlito - OW King's Championship Tournament Semi-Finals Finally, in the night's main event, Grado coming off of his big win against Doug Williams two weeks ago would face Carlito in Semi-Finals of the OW King's Championship Tournament. Grado would come very close to winning the match and would seem to have it in the bag as he set up for the Wee Boot on Carlito, but out would come Doug Williams, who would distract Grado for enough time to allow Carlito to recover and hit the Backstabber onto Grado for the victory in 16:35 to move onto the finals of the OW King's Championship Tournament at Uncharted Waters against Mr. Anderson. But one question would be on everyone's minds after this show. Why Doug Williams? Why? Oceanside Wrestling #4 From Asbury Park Convention Hall To open the show, Doug Williams would explain why he distracted Grado last week on Oceanside Wrestling, stopping him from beating Carlito and moving onto the finals of the OW King's Championship Tournament. He would say that Grado's win over him was a fluke, and that if he allowed him to continue forward in the tournament he would be doing Oceanside Wrestling a disservice. Grado would come out and take offense to this, saying that if he truly was a fluke, that Doug would beat him at Uncharted Waters. Doug would accept the challenge and the match would be set. Kris Statlander vs Deonna Purrazzo - OW Virago Championship Match Qualifier We would then take it to the opening match of the night, that being one of the two qualifiers for the OW Virago Championship Match at Uncharted Waters, that being Kris Statlander vs Deonna Purrazzo. The two would have a back and forth match, both getting in similar amounts of offense, but in 16:18, Kris Statlander would hit the Big Bang Theory for the victory, and will be in the OW Virago Championship Match at Uncharted Waters. Malcolm Bivens would then come out to announce new additions to the Uncharted Waters match card made by the Oceanside Wrestling Owner. On top of the OW King's and Virago Championship matches, Grado and Doug Williams will go one on one in a singles match. The Beautiful People will face in a tag match the two women they've antagonized over the past few weeks in Kylie Rae and her apparent new friend, Susie. And finally, Kiera Hogan has demanded, and received her No Disqualifications Match against Abadon, all set for Uncharted Waters. Mr. Anderson vs Primo Mr. Anderson would face Primo in a tune up match before his OW King's Championship match against Carlito at Uncharted Waters, as Carlito sat ringside for the match. Anderson would win the match in 7:04 with the Mic Check. Post-match, Anderson and Carlito would stare face to face before The Colons, Primo & Epico, would attack Anderson before giving him to Carlito to hit the Backstabber on. The three would laugh at the pained Anderson before going to the back. Mia Yim vs Candice LeRae - OW Virago Championship Match Qualifier And in the main event of the go home show to Uncharted Waters, Mia Yim and Candice LeRae would fight to a draw as the two would both not be able to get back in the ring before the ten count was administered, resulting in a Double Count Out finish at the end of their enthralling 18:34 match. Post-match, Bivens would come out frazzled with a demand from the OW Owner, announcing that at Uncharted Waters, it will be a Threeway Match for the OW Virago Championship, Kris Statlander vs Mia Yim vs Candice LeRae! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Match Card: OW Uncharted Waters The Beautiful People vs Kylie Rae & Susie Kiera Hogan vs Abadon - No Disqualications Grado vs Doug Williams Mr. Anderson vs Carlito - OW King's Championship Kris Statlander vs Mia Yim vs Candice LeRae - OW Virago Championship
  24. Finally, this game has something worth buying. Great job by the Valor vs Carnage devs.

BrendenPlayz Forums "PPV Events"

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