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Murder on the BPZ Express: The Reboot

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2 Years ago I created a diary called Murder on the BPZ Express and last year I created the sequel, Death on the Michigan. But with me planning to make a trilogy I decided a lot of new members wouldn’t have read either of the first two and even then, a lot of the jokes in the first 2 are outdated now, so I have decided to reboot the first 2 before bringing out the third. Enjoy 

Episode 1/15 (Friday 20th September 2019)

BiC and Hans are sat on the First Class Express, talking to a couple of girls whilst showing off the Tag and US belts. Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. BiC goes to check who it is when suddenly he opens the door and immediately shuts it 

Hans: Who was it?

BiC: It was Brenden

Hans: Is he Ok after Bashka destroyed him at SummerSlam. And I mean girls he destroyed him. Humiliated him

BiC: Well I don’t know but he’s the boss, we have to let him on. And he can’t see all this. Get the girls out of here.  

Hans tries to get the girls out of the back window as BiC opens the door and smiles to Brenden, whilst holding his Tag belt.

BiC: Sorry the doors a bit heavy, I couldn’t quite keep it open. Not as heavy as this wonderful tag belt I hold though. Can I help you Brenden?

Suddenly Bashka appears behind Brenden, as does Keeley, Bailey, Arius, Bob, Meko, Nate Sawyer, Sheridan, Mirage, Arrow and Kai. Hans suddenly appears as we see three girls running away from the bus behind the superstars. 

Hans: Bashka, why have you bought this mix of characters here?

Brenden: I will explain. Keeley booked the wrong plane tickets and we have no way of getting to our next 3 shows. Bash came up with the idea of travelling on your stupid party bus. And we were wondering if out the kindness of your heart you could take us there

BiC: It’s probably going to be a no

Bren: I will double your weekly wage.

Hans: No

Bren: I will buy you both a round of cocktails after the house show

Both: Deal

Brenden: Ok we have two shows booked for tomorrow, in the morning we have a house show and in the evening we have Carnage. Then we travel to a hotel and in the morning we prepare for Bad Blood. For tonight everyone is getting some sleep on this bus

BiC: What about everyone else. 

Brenden: They travelled yesterday they’re not doing these shows, come on everybody

Bash, Bren, Keeley, Bailey, Nathan, Sheridan, Mirage, Kai, Arius, Bob and Meko board leaving Arrow stood outside. He is about to get on when suddenly the doors close 

BiC: Sorry Arrow, there’s alcohol on this bus. No one under the age of 14 allowed. 

The bus speeds off leaving Arrow there. He picks up his phone and begins to call for a taxi. BiC drives The First Class Express Forward, not noticing that as they stopped at the traffic lights, a masked man suddenly jumped onto the back of the bus. He held on as the bus sped off, ready for the overnight journey 

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Echo Wilson: And why would I help you? I don’t want to take down Brenden, and you shouldn’t either. He puts food on your plate 

We see Echo talking to a masked man in a pub, and when Echo rejects them, he nods at Echo, before throwing a bag of money onto the table. Echo looks at the bag of money and smiles at the two masked men

Wilson: How could I be of assistance?

Meanwhile, back on the First Class Express, we see BiC asleep on the passenger seat before the driver suddenly slaps him around the face

BiC: What? 

He looks up to see Hans driving the bus

Hans: We’re almost there. Although we won’t be competing, I didn’t want to leave you asleep in the bus, wake up. 

BiC looks around the bus to see everyone else also waking up. Bashka is sat near his Bulletproof partners, and behind him in the seats are Brenden and Keeley. Behind them is Bailey, Who seems to be keeping a watchful eye over them both. On the other side, Nate and Sheridan have the front seats and have been arguing the entire journey about “how women have too many rights these days.” Behind them is Toxik and Kai, with Toxik talking about great Alabama is. Behind them are Bob and Meko who have been making the most of the free alcohol on the journey with them not having to wrestle until the evening. Sat on the back row by himself is Arius, who holds a bag very closely whilst sharpening a knife. He focuses back on Kai who seems to be on the verge of snapping 

Toxik: So in Alabama, we do things much better

Kai: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALABAMA IS GREAT. Now I’m going to sit next to Bailey

Kai stands up and sits next to Bailey who looks irritated at Kai’s presence as Toxik listens in on the conversation 

Kai: Don’t look so annoyed. Wait have you got a video recorder. What are you doing?

Bailey: Waiting for Keeley to slip up and say something that I can use to blackmail her. Normally Brenden makes sure we’re separated on the plane. I’m not going to get a better chance than this 

Kai: I might go ask Bob and Meko for a drink

Bailey: You’re a professional athlete Kai why are you drinking? Idiot.

Suddenly the bus pulls to a stop and everyone gets off. Toxik catches up with Kai, with Kai visibly shaking at every word Toxik says, Arius gets off sharpening his knife, much to the confused interest of Sheridan and Nate, who put their arguing aside to look at Arius as they too exit. Brenden and Keeley get off closely followed by Bailey. Bob and Meko get off before finally Bulletproof get off and grab some of the suitcases from under the bus. A car pulls up behind the bus featuring Echo and the masked man but Bulletproof don’t notice. They leave the luggage compartment open before walking away

Bash: Aren’t you going to close that

Hans: Watch this 

Hans presses a button on the keys and the luggage compartment very slowly closes by itself. Hans and BiC look in amazement but Bash doesn’t look too impressed. The three turn their backs and begin walking to the show. What they don’t notice is that just as the luggage compartment doors are about to close, the masked man suddenly jumped in, followed by another masked man who had been on the bus since it set off yesterday. The two men hid in the luggage compartment and gave one last thumbs up to Echo as the doors closed and Echo drove away

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Episode 3/15: The Murder

An amazing house show has finished and now they are all sat in the bar celebrating. Bob and Meko are downing pints, whilst Nathan is trying to take Sheridan’s beer of her, claiming a “woman shouldn’t drink a mans drink.” Kai is trying to ignore Toxik who keeps going on about Alabama, to the point Kai stands up and leaves. Bailey is filming Keeley, Brenden is talking to Bashka and First Class Express are taking photos with fans but only female fans.

Brenden: Well everyone remember we have a show tonight so don’t go too crazy 

Bailey: Back in my day we didn’t drink like this 

Brenden: If you’re so annoyed by it Bailey stop filming the love of my life and get to the locker room

Bailey happily obliges, standing up and walking out, before he nods to himself and starts looking at his camera. He smiles before getting to the locker room and sitting down and watching something

Bailey: Ah the perfect evidence to destroy Keeley’s career. I would have a celebratory drink but, wait what are you doing here?

Bailey suddenly looked up to see someone he knows standing above him but he can’t see who it is. All he see is the person pull out a gun and smack it around Bailey’s head. He then looked at the unconscious Bailey and began to pour alcohol down his throat until eventually Bailey coughed and spluttered before drowning to his death. 

30 minutes later 

All the BrendenPlayz superstars are sat outside the locker room waiting for Bailey. Brenden is questioning where he could be and Kai suggests he could already be in the locker room. However when they open the locker room door they were met with a great shock as they saw the dead body of Bailey lying on the floor

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(OOC: 100 BPZ Cash for anyone who correctly predicts the murderer)

Part 4/15

Hans: Well that was a shock wasn’t it

The entire coach nod solemnly with the image of the dead body of Bailey fresh in their minds. Brenden and BiC are outside talking with PC James Ropati

Brenden: So what’s the verdict James. Also nice to see you again

James: Yes Brenden I’ve not seen you since you brutally beat me down during War Games and ended my career in wrestling 

Brenden: How do you find being a police officer in Australia 

James: Cut the cheap rubbish Brenden I’m here on Business terms. We’ve deemed it an accident 

BiC: There is no way it’s an accident. Bailey didn’t drink alcohol. He was massively against it.

James: It was clear he was a lier. Death by alcohol poisoning

BiC: But

James: You seem awfully sure BiC. Maybe I should be suspecting you more. My verdict is done

Ropati left leaving an annoyed BiC and Brenden behind. Both step on the bus

BiC: He’s said it was an accident 

Hans: Ridiculous 

Keeley: Bren, does that mean the shows are off

Bren: It’s an accidental death so no. Onto Melbourne for Carnage and Bad Blood we go

BiC: It wasn’t an accident 

Brenden: BiC, if you keep arguing that people are going to suspect you

Keeley: That BiC does look like a murderer 


Everyone turns to Meko Who is wobbling and slurring at the same time. He falls back down on his seat and Bob helps prop him back up 

Meko: How about we sing a song and raise spirits

Arius: 🎵Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound 🎵

Everyone turns in shock to look at Arius who beautifully belts out Amazing Grace whilst sharpening his knife. Upon everyone’s sudden reaction to him, he stops singing, puts the knife in his bag before bringing out another one and sharpening that

Bob: Me, me and Mek, Meko were thinking something more upbeating? You ready Meko?

Meko: I was born it Bobby

Both: 🎵500 bottles of beer on the wall, 500 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 499 bottles of beer on the wall 🎵

4 hours later, and the entire team have earplugs in however this doesn’t seem to have fazed Bob and Meko Who carry on singing. Nate Sawyer and Sheridan are arguing in sign language, Arius is still sharpening his knife, Kai and Toxik have fallen asleep and Bulletproof are talking. Sheridan again becomes fascinated by Arius, pointing him out to Sawyer as both watch with panic in the eyes. They seem to be agreeing on something as they point out Arius. Suddenly the coach stops and everyone runs out, much to the surprise of Bob and Meko. Bob and Meko leave however what they don’t notice is that BiC has left the keys in the ignition. And they also don’t notice 2 masked men suddenly run onto the bus and grab the keys...

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Episode 5/15

Brenden: 50 AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS FOR A PICTURE WITH LEGENDARY BPZ STAR KAI. Sheridan can you come over here too and try raise some cash

Brenden was trying to bring in money, a recurring theme throughout the trip. Meanwhile Sheridan was ordering food but when she was called over Nate agreed to take over the order. He then began to belittle and flirt with the girl behind the bar. Brenden sent Kai away, who walked towards where Bulletproof were stood before cursing 

BiC: Kai what’s wrong 

Kai: I forgot my attire

BiC: I’ll go unlock the bus for you

Keeley and Toxik caught up to Hans and Bashka who started walking forward as BiC checked all his pockets. 

BiC: Dammit Kai I must have left the keys in the ignition. Can you lock up after you get your attire

Kai: Of course

Bashka: Come on, we’re going to grab some food. Kai will you be joining us?

Kai: Just give me a minute 

Kai walked back to the bus, in the process walking past Bob and Meko. As he left the area, he saw Arius throwing knives at the wall. Kai pretended to ignore him, breathing a sigh of relief when he reached the bus. He grabbed his attire and then came eye to eye with the two masked men on the bus. Kai grabbed the keys and began to run, eventually making it into the safety of the arena assuming he was safe, however he heard footsteps and began to run again. He made it to the ringside area where a Hell In A Cell was set up for tonight’s main event. He began to scale the cell, reaching the top assuming he would be able to climb faster than his pursuer. However he turned around and looked at his pursuer in shock 

Kai: You. Why you? Wait, you killed Bailey didn’t you

The pursuer didn’t answer in words, instead grabbing Kai and throwing him off the 20ft Hell In A Cell structure. Kai fell to the floor below, where his body twitched once, before stopping still 

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Episode 6/15

Bulletproof are sat in the bar with Bob and Meko. 5 minutes ago a loud bang was heard but it hadn’t been investigated.

BiC: It doesn’t make any sense

Hans: What doesn’t?

BiC: Bailey didn’t drink, I just think it’s a murder 

Bob: Maybe he secretly drunk 

Meko: Yeh, between us 5, me and Bob sometimes enjoy a cheeky drink behind everyone’s back

Bulletproof share an unsurprised look before Toxik comes running in very pale

Toxik: Guys you have got to see this. Kai, Kai is dead

20 minutes later

Everyone is sat on the bus as PC James Ropati steps on, ready to investigate 

Rop: Alright I am going to get to the bottom of this. Or is it to the top. No that’s a Ladder match. Anyway, Bulletproof where were you?

Bash: We were in the bar with Bob and Meko

Rop: I see you have an alibi. Bob where were you?

Bob: Erm in the bar 

Rop: Can anyone provide an alibi

Hans: Yes we can. Were you listening to what we just said

Rop: Brenden where were you?

Brenden: Me and Keeley were having a BPZ and BPZGF photo shoot for all the fans. Lots of fans can vouch for us there

Keeley: Yes. We were meant to have Sheridan join us but she vanished

Rop: Sheri where were you 

Sheri: Trying to help a young defenceless girl who was being abused by Nathan 

Nathan: It wasn’t abuse if I have to remind a women she is wearing ridiculous clothing then I have Alright to slap her to reinforce 

Sheridan: Ropati are you seriously not going to arrest him

Rop: No I will not. Ok that adds up for nearly everyone, finally Arius, where were you

Arius: By myself

Rop: Can anyone provide an alibi 

Arius: Myself

Rop: Great That all adds up.

Roapti declares it a second accident, much to BiCs shock. He runs outside to confront Ropati

BiC: Ropati, this is obvious this was a murder

Rop: I am sorry BiC, I didn’t realise you had spent 2 weeks in Police Academy like me. Anyway if I had a number one suspect it would be you. We found your property on Kai

Ropati tosses BiC the bus keys back before driving away. BiC sits back on the bus and begins to drive it before Brenden shouts out

Brenden: I swear our Camera equipment was on here before

Hans: Maybe we moved it down below I don’t know

The bus drove away, leaving behind 2 masked men who held a bunch of camera equipment in there hand. They text Echo that Phase 1 is complete, Who immediately texts back with a number. The masked man presses the number and it rings twice before we hear a familiar voice pick up the phone 

Voice: Hello, Julius speaking 

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Episode 7/15

We see the First Class Express pull up outside a hotel on the outskirts of Melbourne. A porter comes to the bus and helps them get their bags in

Porter: Ah the BPZ party. You’re early, and 2 members down

BiC: Long story

Porter: Ok, here are all the keys for your rooms. Enjoy 

1 hour later

Everyone is sat in the hotel restaurant, talking. Hans, Bash and BiC are talking but BiC is clearly distracted. Toxik takes a seat next to them. Bob and Meko come down, looking surprisingly sober. The champagne girl offers everyone a drink which nearly all take, as Brenden and Keeley arrive dressed fancily. The two mingle with Sheridan before everyone takes their seats. Nathan arrives late, snatches champagne off the girl and sits next to Sheridan, who looks devastated. Brenden stands up and hits the champagne glass with a spoon

Brenden: Today we lost a legend of BPZ and we also lost Bailey. I am going to buy a candle and light it for them both. Who’s with me?

Everyone raises their glasses as Brenden smiles sympathetically

Brenden: That will be $10 from everyone.

Everyone looks guilty as Brenden stares them down until they hand the money over to Brenden. 

Brenden: Where is Arius, I haven’t seen him? I will look for him outside

Brenden leaves as everyone engages in conversation. However BiC looks around, seeing everybody in the room as a suspect, until suddenly a loud thump is heard. This wakes BiC up from his trance who looks to see everyone standing up

BiC: What’s going on?

He pushes past everyone and opens the door to see everyone looking down at Brenden, who was sprawled unconscious on the floor with a brick next to his head 

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Chapter 9/15

BiC: Up the stairs

Everyone obeys BiC and follows him up the stairs, with everyone sticking together for safety. They pass Meko and Bobs room on the first floor, where both stars are most likely asleep after taking the doctor up back to his room. They drop Toxik off in his room before making their way to the second floor. They drop Brenden and Keeley in a romantic suite, and also put Nate Sawyer and Sheridan in a separate romantic suite

Sheri: Haha Brenden is this some kind of joke

Brenden: Well sorry Sheri but Keeley doesn’t like you so this was her idea of revenge. Enjoy your romantic night

Sheri slams the door shut furiously as Brenden chuckles to himself, before Hans, BiC, Bashka and Arius make their way up to the third floor. Arius silently vanishes into his room and Bashka goes into his. Finally BiC and Hans reach their rooms in the top floor. Hans turns to BiC

Hans: BiC, I think you’re stressed

BiC: Gee Hans I wonder why. Could it be that there is a murderer here

Hans: Listen you’re taking a lot of responsibility for all these people. So I decided to organise you a surprise in our room

Hans opens the door and we see 2 girls sat across the two beds in the room

Girls: Hiya BiC

BiC: I love you Hans

We see BiC and Hans sleeping later on in the night, a girl next to each one of them. On the third floor Arius holds the urn close to him as he sleeps, only for the ashes to start falling out of the pot. Bashka falls asleep well. On the second floor we don’t see what happens inside the romantic suites although we can imagine the atmosphere in both are very different. On the first floor, Toxik has earphones in blaring “Sweet Home Alabama” and in the first room we hear Bob and Meko arguing. A furious Meko walks out of the room and begins to walk downstairs. He sits downstairs for a good hour before deciding to get some fresh air and heading behind the hotel near where Slim was attacked yesterday. He sits on a bench before he suddenly sees someone holding a gun. He can’t see who it is but calls out and suddenly the sound of a gunshot is heard and the bullet whizzes past Meko. Meko begins to try run away but is suddenly confronted by the man who tries to hit him over the head with the gun. Meko blocks it and throws the gun away before seeing who his attacker is

Meko: You’re the murderer? 

His pursuer didn’t reply and began to flee, with Meko picking up the gun and giving chase. Meko checked the gun for bullets and saw it was empty. The murderer reached the cricket shed and smashed the window, grabbing a cricket bat from inside. As Meko cornered the murderer, Meko was hit over the head by the cricket bat and was killed instantly

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Chapter 10/15

It’s the morning and a knock is heard on BiCs door. He looks annoyed at being woken up, especially having set rules yesterday where he was to wake everyone up so that there would be no accidents. The girls seem to have vanished, leaving Hans and BiC in the room. BiC opens the door and sees Bob standing there

 BiC: Did you forget about the rules, I wake everyone up

Bob: What rules?

BiC: Oh yeh you and Meko went to bed early when you went with the doctor. I’ll explain when we are on the coach. Now you knocked?

Bob: I woke up and Meko wasn’t there. I gave him an hour but he is still missing

We cut forward another 30 minutes to see nearly everyone looking around the hotel grounds trying to find Meko when the last remaining people - Brenden, Keeley and Arius arrive

Hans: Where were you, I said get down here 30 minutes ago

Brenden: Me and Keeley were having breakfast. I don’t know about Arius

Arius: I had to pick up some ashes

Suddenly a scream is heard. It’s the Indian doctor who has opened the cricket shed and found the body of Meko inside. Everyone crowds around

Bob: He he is dead. It’s all my fault

Nate Sawyer: How so?

Bob: You May have noticed towards the end of yesterday we were sober. We agreed a pact to say sober for the rest of the year. However I only lasted 8 hours. He found out and we argued and then he stormed out, that was the very last time I saw him

Doctor: It looks like he died of a head injury

Sheri: From this

She picked up the blood stained cricket bat and showed it to everyone

BiC: This is what is going to happen. We stick to the plan

Bob: I will stay here with Meko

Doctor: Same I will too

BiC: Then lets go to Survivor a Series the sooner the better 

In 5 minutes, the bus drives away to Survivor Series as the two masked men watch it drive away. One of them picks up a phone

Masked Man: Hello I have seen a murder take place. The murder of Meko. And the murderer. BiC

The man hangs up before the two take off their masks to reveal Arrow and Steph behind the masks. They then share a smirk before getting in there signature car and Arrow drives, Steph sending a text to Julius as they drive behind the First Class Express

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